You don't have to be an entrepreneur for very long before being disappointed. Let's face it. Entrepreneurs see what can be.. though it's not yet. So we get disappointed.
Well... forget entrepreneur. You don't have to be a person long. Disappointment comes our way. Or we walk its way!
And when it comes, we feel alone, angry, out of sort, disgusted and disgruntled, maybe with life itself.
You don't have to be a parent long. A spouse long. An organizational leader long. A worker in any office... in any school... in any church... in any hospital.
Lost a client. Didn't get funded. Passed over for a promotion. Star employee leaves us. They talk about us behind our backs. Investment tanks. Friend walks away. Far away.
And the hardest thing can be when people act... well, let's just say as "people sometimes do."
Having experienced some waaaayyy long years of borderline "dysthimia" or downright depression .... I now want to help others do, as my friend and fellow coach, Shelby Ketchen, calls it: Move on sooner. Get emotionally and spiritually healthy and stay that way before it's too late.
That's what I failed to do when the non-profit and church-planting venture I was leading in Boston threw me for a disappointed loop. My partner told me I "was selfish" and left. Funds dried up. People didn't show up. I felt like a fraud, failure and a feeble leader.
So.... here are 10 ways to Move On Sooner when experiencing a setbacky, stucky, yucky or even wacky disappointment.
It would be living fantasy land, also known as "la la land" to think that things won't go against us. Sure, it goes against others but us? Yep.
Pretending it wasn't a loss or disappointment. (term for that is "denial"). It matters that we're honest with reality. It is what it is.
It's the other - depression creating end of the spectrum. Allowing our mind's to lazily fuss, muse on or chew, like a cow chews its cud will surely bring about bad things. Like a junk food for the soul! Kills the life and energy.
Acknowledge it. Let it go sooner. Just let it go sooner!!
Notice what happens when we're disappointed in our bodies. We hunch over, tighten up and hold our breath. We take wimpy short breaths when we do.
Deep breathing cleanses us from the inside out and not only fills us with oxygen, it let's out body know that we're not about to die.
Deep breaths are one of life's most under-appreciated and free gifts.
[cryout-pullquote s most under-appreciated and free gifts.[/cryout-pullquote]
It's been said, "In prayer, everything is legal." I have no doubt that it's OK to let God know you're disappointed. It may even build a closer relationship! At least, it's an honest one.
Yes, you may have made quite a mess this time. Maybe you didn't do your best. But, you are a worthy of being forgiven.
Try this: Actually say, "I forgive me" out loud. (I know, I felt weird too... for a very brief moment!)
They may not ask for it, and most likely won't. Our power to forgive gives us the option... and we do know we are the one who walks free.
This totally goes against our "go in a closet and hide" mechanism. We get reclusive and don't want to be around, especially not wanting to "smile and be all nice."
Yet, somehow, we know this to be true, healthy community brings healing.
For many years, my in-laws had this Swedish proverb hanging in the foyer of their home:
"Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief."
OK, this is from the dog fanatic in me.... but Harry, Scrappy and Barney just have a way of saying to me in their own way, "Dude, don't take yourself so seriously!"
Check in with your animal.
The good that comes from that will only multiply in us too. Even better, if you're an entrepreneur - help another entrepreneur. If a parent. Help a parent. If struggling in your marriage. Help someone else struggling.
Yes, hard work is good... but maybe you just need to take a long walk. Or go for a hike in the mountains.
A day off.
A week off.
The concept of Sabbath always meant that "there is a God. And it's not us."
Maybe a break will clear everything and even build your trust that Someone has you in ways you hadn't even imagined!
Your emotional and spiritual vitality and well-being is worth so much. Guard i! Be vigilant even now! Choose the way of life ... even just one of the above to practice now.
You are worth it!
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