I ran into my friend friend Joe in the alley yesterday. (named changed to protect my poor friend) He looked haggered and worn. "What's up Joe?" "
Oh, just struggling with this whole women's issue at my church," he said. (Joe's on the church elder board)
"Yeah, I think the men are open to seeing women getting involved in more teaching to some degree. But when it comes to leadership, it's a slippery slope. They are afraid that if they go this direction, women will just take over."
Hmmm.... he's got a point. That would NOT be good!!
What might happen if the women DID "take over?"
Here are 12 worse-case scenarios...
1. They would see us guys as sex objects and objects of desire, thinking we looked hunky, and cute and luscious. (OK, so we might be able to deal with that one..... )
2. They might force us to share our feelings and use words like "mood," and "sense" and "desire." Even worse, words like "need," or "wound" or "pain."
3. They'd take away the real juicy meetings - like the thrill of great knock-down drag out board meetings that legends are made of.
4. They would force us to share opinions and "perspectives." (What is a perspective anyway?)
5. They make us think about ridiculous stuff, like future generations and needs of the less fortunate and the disenfranchised. They may even pull the trump card that Jesus elevated, cared about and championed the marginalized. (Even women come to think of it. Hmmm..)
6. We'd be forced to stop seeing other churches and other organizations as "the competition" and see how we might do loser things, like "collaborate" or "partner." They'd quote silly things like "When the water rises, all the boats will rise" or "Give and you will receive."
7. They'd get into all kind of petty desires for us... like wanting us to prioritize our own spiritual growth or invest in deep male friendships, or make time to care for our own souls.
8. They'd think they didn't have to act more like men when they showed up for our lunches, business gatherings or sports events.
9. Our children would no longer be freed to be left behind when we stayed late at the office and we'd be forced to spend "quality time" together with children and family.
10. They might start encouraging our daughters to dangerously dream of what they could really want to do with their lives and imbue them with thoughts that they might be called to a certain careers or missions that involved leadership.
11. They'd destroy our churches by making them become more like communities instead of offerings, programs and services.
12. They could start thinking they could use any gift they had and think they had something to teach men. (the most dangerous of all!)
So, as you can see, it really is a slippery slope! With this kind of terror confronting us, we must hold the line or we'll all be wearing pink soon!
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