So, I recently (like last week!) moved 1000 miles across the country from Algonquin IL to Boulder CO. One extra-large sized Yellow Penske truck, a still unsold home in IL, three dogs, one cat, one wife, two sons and a whole lot of details!
Transition has a way of bringing out best and the worst. I don't remember a lot of days of my life -I tend to never forget the big transitions.
I continually coach people in transition and find them making common mistakes. So easy for an "expert" like me to spot! : ) However, the hardest person to "coach" through transition is yours truly. I came close to making these mistakes again, and by the grace of God didn't make them this time. (So far!)
Here are six common transition mistakes I identified.
Let's face it, it's easy to put off big decisions, like moving, leaving or changing... almost anything of consequence! Big transition decisions have a way festering and lingering and by not making a decision, we make the typical defacto decision: do nothing.
Trust me, I can procrastinate with the greatest slow movers... especially when it comes to the big decisions.
THIS TIME: we got away for 4 days to a retreat center and focused on the decision: Shall we move to Colorado this summer? Yep. Here we are.
Create the place, space and time you need to make transition decisions. Do a transition retreat. (Learn more)
Let's face it, when we move from one place to another, we have to change our ways... which means we have to change... our ways. The most fertile soil for anxiety, disagreement and unsettledness and many, many decisions
Did I mention the many, many decisions? I just had to arrange for new waste pick-up at our new place. "Do you want the 32 ounce can? The 64 ounce? Or the 96 ounce? Will you compost? How large a container for your recyclables will you want?"
Huh? Ya think I know!
THIS TIME - I look at this as part of the ADVENTURE. "Life is either a daring adventure, of nothing at all." So, I went with the 96 ounce for both. Composting too!
When I "get there" becomes a code for "It's OK for today to suck because when I'm "there" life will be better."
Into any life, transition comes. How easy it is to think: Life will be good THEN! So, not true!
THIS TIME: Truth, NOW is the day the Lord has made. It's best to enjoy the ride, even the cleaning up, packing up and the host of things I can't find because they're in some forsaken of forgotten box. The fun of life is NOW. Enjoy the ride.
Yes, I have thought that I can remember the gzillion things to do. I have figured I'd remember to do the change of address form. To say goodbye to key people.
THIS TIME: I created daily lists of things to do.....(and yes, didn't get them all done.) However, if airplane pilots still go through them, then others of us still getting ready to fly need them too. (Check out a book called "Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Done Right")
Life always looks so good on paper! We even sat down and planned out the dates for when the house would sell, when we would counter - offer and when we would purchase a new house. We decided against renting in CO in favor of buying.
Guess what? OUR timetable isn't quite right.
Ever been there?
THIS TIME: Trust that God's plans are greater than my plans and make the next right decision today. It's OK to rent for a while. We even get to see what it's like to live somewhere before we purchase.
Yes, it's easy to let the disciplines and the positive rhythms of life wane. Who has time to get time for prayer, for reflection for reading in the midst of transition? And when everyone else needs something, it's easy not to care for the "me in me."
THIS TIME: Extra time required for soul care in transition. More time to pray, reflect and walk with the dogs.
Of course, THIS TIME is still in process, but as Mindy said yesterday as we unloaded one more box and bought a new dining room table on Craig's List: "We're almost there!"
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