My friend tells me a key "aha" to making his marriage work was: "Happy Wife, Happy Life." "If she's not happy, no one's happy!" he says. "It took me a while to learn that... but it sure helped when I did!"
Specifically, as John Gray, Ph.D's new book Venus on Fire; Mars on Ice says, "Understanding the differing effects of oxytocin and testosterone on men and women is the first step in making subtle shifts in behavior and nutrition." Gray's book, subtitled, "Hormonal Balance - The Key to Life, Love and Energy" says that today's stressful environments with more women in the workforce overwhelmed with work-home responsibilities, has been wreaking havoc on hormonal balance. That same feel-good, stress-reducing hormone that helped her fall in love with you, gets depleted by stress as well as a lack of safe, nurturing and relationally sensitive environments. OXYTOCIN MUST BE REPLACED and RE-RELEASED. OR ELSE!
The good news: Gray says that husbands can help fix this problem. He writes, "Oxytocin is released in safe, cooperative, caring, supporting and nurturing situations." So what can a husband do? Well.... as hard it sometimes sounds: HELP CREATE THOSE SAFE, COOPERATIVE, CARING AND SUPPORTING AND NURTURING SITUATIONS.
Gray concludes his book with "One Hundred Oxytocin-Producing Activities A Woman Can Engage In" (Or a husband can help facilitate) Here's just a few husbands can orchestrate.
Share non-business meals with friends
Special "spa time" getting a manicure or pedicure
Create special occasions by lighting candles at dinner
Browse in a book store with no agenda
Spend time at the beach, a river or a lake.
Visit or tour an art museum or exhibit
Going camping or river rafting with a group
Shop for sexy lingerie
Enjoy the day!
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