I know Jean Valjean said "to love another person is to see the face of God," and I'm sure he's right, but loving another person, especially when you're married to that person feels a lot more like mogul skiing. That came to me, you'll never guess where? OK, while skiing moguls a few weeks ago... I know my wife will agree that loving me feels the same way, (maybe even more like skiing a mogul field without snow, in bare feet... from her vantage point!) So I think I'm safe sharing this. (Am I Honey?)
And if you've ever seriously skied the bumps or you've been in married for longer than a few weeks, I think you'll relate.
You may look at skiing groomed, bumpless slopes as what most of us hope for in a long-term relationship, and even what we get to experience for some seasons. And personally, I can get pretty overconfident on almost on mogul-free runs, even with some ice, a black diamond or two and some howling wind. However, throw in a mogul field and all bets are off. (Think disagreements. A relational disappointment. Debt and Money Problems. Parenting Challenges. Relocation. A Job Loss...) Marriage almost feels like a different sport!
I recently read, "Even the best skiers will struggle when they start skiing moguls. In actuality, mogul skiing is quite easy and safe, once you learn the rules...But bump skiing is a major problem for most skiers....". One website warns, "Skiing is dangerous. You could get messed up doing it. If you want to ski moguls safely, seek the guidance of a professional instructor." (Just replace the word skiing with marriage if you haven't already : )
Of course love, marriage and the like don't come with those disclaimers, though they probably should, right? So, here's the wisdom of not wiping out in bumpy, unpredictable and at times terrifying terrain.... Maybe even enjoying the bumps!
Agree on your line beforehand: In other words, decide where you want to go before you start. Where do you see youself headed? Of course when tough terrain start coming at you at a fast pace, you'll be tempted to deviate. Better to choose when things are easier than in the midst of the moguls.
Avoid Looking at yourself or focusing on the bumps. If you focus on yourself or what's coming right at you, you'll get thrown off-balance. If you want to keep your balance, keep your eyes calmly on the horizon, letting gravity do its work. "Look at me!" or "Look at those bumps!!" doesn't tend to help much.
Absorb the Bumps as they Come: The shocks are gonna come. Don't stiffen up but enjoy the ride! And be ready to spring back again and again. Its part of the sport!
Allow yourself times to recover. When you get tired and fatigue sets in is when even the best of us can make mistakes. "Fatigue makes cowards out of us all." So if you need some time to recover after a challenging run, be sure to get it. Over time, you'll become better conditioned.
Avoid trying to rush through bumps. If the bumps are coming out you too fast, you may need to slow down and get back under control.
Analyze others who do it well. There really are people out there who've navigated the moguls and really love "the sport" more than ever. Learn from them.
Enjoy the Ride!
Are You Ready to Experience Your Purpose@Work? Complimentary Book!
HomeConvergence Consultation (Free!)Books by Jeff CaliguireAboutContact Us
DISCOVER RECENT POPULAR BLOG POSTS!EXPLORE
Calling & CareerPersonal GrowthPurposeful LeadershipProductivityPlatform
CONNECT WITH US
COPYRIGHT 2017 BY CONVERGENCE POINT INC. - POWERED BY HEROIK