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Married and on Mission

Might our marriages be helped,

  • Love each other deeply. 

  • Protect each other.  

  • Parent together. 

  • Keep our home's from becoming hell-holes and rubbish piles and unpaid bills. 

  • Stay healthy together.....  

  •  No, I'm not suggesting we sacrifice these.

    However, I believe that great marriages have a great mission.  Besides being married together, they see themselves as doing something together that's bigger than just them.  They're changing the world together.   They're solving a problem together.  They're creating a legacy together.  They're serving God together. They're building something together.

    Did you see the movie The Blind Side?  In reading the book behind the movie it's even more clear that  Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy supported each other on a common mission to help struggling kids even before Michael Oher came along.  Sure, they played different roles to do so, but even before adopting Michael Oher, Sean and Leigh Anne helped kids financially and emotionally. Though the movie is mainly Leigh Anne's (Sandra Bullock) passion, the book says, "Sean was interested in poor jocks in the same way that a former diva might be interested in opera singers or a Jesuit scholar in debaters."

    No, the mission must not trump the marriage,detract from intimacy or develop detours, but intentionally being on mission TOGETHER, fulfilling a dream TOGETHER may serve both our love and build our family legacy. 

    This "Married and on Mission" approach is instead of -

    • He does his thing  and her job is to support him, keep the house clean and his pipe and slippers ready when he comes home.   (Old paradigm!  Didn't work then!  Won't work now!)

    • She works hard for the money.. He works hard for the money.  Together they spend the money.  (Isn't DINKdom a thing of the eighties anyway?  And how much shopping can you really do?)

    • Our main job together is to have wild, intimate and loving sex.  (Sounds great on paper!  How long can you sustain that you two?)

    • Our job together is to be secure.    (Agree, if you're starving - grow more crops... but might there be more to life than a cozy white picket fence, a college-educated family, and an over funded 401k?)

    • Our job together is to have fun.  (Agree that good marriages have fun together... golf, working out, dinners and dates.. but is that it?   And might there even be more to a future retirement than travel and tickets to the show?  Might retirement be a gate to doing more together than you could do apart?)  

    • Our job together is to communicate.  (I hear that... Yes, and....??)

    No, "married and on mission" does not necessarily mean you must work together (although some couples do make this work...)   It just means that you are on the same page of doing something TOGETHER. 

    Some questions to start the discussion?

    •  

      • What passion(s) do we BOTH share?

      • If you were God, why might You have put you US together? What was the bigger purpose? 

      • When was the last time we accomplished something together we both felt great about?

      • If we were to serve together to do something, what would we do?

      • If we were to build something together over the next ten years, what would we build? 

     I agree that having a great marriage is one of the most rewarding AND most challenging endeavors most of us will ever embark on.  SO what if we were intentional to create a mutual mission for our marriages? 

    Tune in later to see how I'm doing!

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