In my "perfect world," every door opens, things always grow and good people don't despair. "Just think positive and be positive" always works and continues working. Life "works out."
For some reason, I continue to be surprised that my own perfect world doesn't exist for me or those I care about. Some of my own recent reminders.....
A typically positive client walk into my office telling me "I lost my mojo" He hangs his head with a sense of deep disappointment.
A friend struggles with a job they hate and can't see any option.
I receive news that a friend I lost touch with recently took his own life.
It's another severe reminder to me that we all need others who know what's going on with us.... and we all need to grow our resilience to setbacks, difficulty and loss.
Clearly, there are different levels of struggles. However most of us don't talk about, hear about or read about our need for resilience day to day. Most of us weren't taught nor trained in resilience in family of origin or education - even if we should have been.
What is resilience?
It's the ability to bounce back, recover and overcome setbacks. It's what keeps us from being dependent on antidepressants, therapy or giving up dreams as a way of life. It's what allows us to persevere when things get tough and not quit on things that matter most - Our callings. Those we love. Faith. Visions.
According to Dean Becker, president of Adaptiv Learning Systems,
(John 16:33)
Anyway , a few thoughts to becoming more be resilient.... (From someone who is very much on the journey with you)
1. Avoid Catastrophizing
"Catastrophizing is an irrational thought a lot of us have in believing that something is far worse than it actually is. (Psych Central) It's basically saying things like "I never get sales." "I am a complete and utter failure." "I stink."Non-resilient thinking decides that the future is bleak as well... It always will be. "Things will always go wrong for me." "I will always stink." "I will never make money." "I will never change."
Trust me, I once thought that I was just being honest and even humble by saying things like this! The key is to hear this and "just say no!"
Catastrophizing is not only untrue, it creates a toxin in our souls that may not come clear very easily.
2. Address Reality with a Positive Light.
Becoming resilient requires that we still live in reality. "Don't worry, be happy" makes for great songs, but becoming resilient doesn't mean we lose touch with the real world.Resilient people actually address stuff that's broken, not working and even detrimental. They just do it with a positive light towards addressing it - not ignoring it, blaming someone or getting depressed.
3. Explore a Bigger Picture
Whether it's business or whatever, it's possible to ask: "What can I learn?" or "How might knowing this help me in the future?"Austrian psychiatrist and Auschwitz survivor Victor Frankl shared that his journey to proactively seek out a purpose for his suffering and seeing himself one day teaching others helped him rise above the atrocities of his present circumstances.
4. Adjust What's Not Working
The most resilient people not only don't quit at things that matter most - they work to make them better. They see what's broken as a chance to invent something new, create a new market or make "lemonade out of lemons."And often , the most creative, compassionate and empathetic people experience the pain and setback - AND not only refused to quit. They became determined to help others in ways they wished they could have been helped.
OK, admittedly these are just a few short thoughts on a key topic. However, if you take just one of these to heart and it helps you persevere and become even a bit more resilient, persevering to write this post would have been worthwhile for me. : )
Is there one of these 4 that might better equip you to resist quitting and be more resilient today?
 
In my "perfect world," every door opens, things always grow and good people don't despair. "Just think positive and be positive" always works and continues working. Life "works out."
For some reason, I continue to be surprised that my own perfect world doesn't exist for me or those I care about. Some of my own recent reminders.....
A typically positive client walk into my office telling me "I lost my mojo" He hangs his head with a sense of deep disappointment.
A friend struggles with a job they hate and can't see any option.
I receive news that a friend I lost touch with recently took his own life.
It's another severe reminder to me that we all need others who know what's going on with us.... and we all need to grow our resilience to setbacks, difficulty and loss.
Clearly, there are different levels of struggles. However most of us don't talk about, hear about or read about our need for resilience day to day. Most of us weren't taught nor trained in resilience in family of origin or education - even if we should have been.
What is resilience?
It's the ability to bounce back, recover and overcome setbacks. It's what keeps us from being dependent on antidepressants, therapy or giving up dreams as a way of life. It's what allows us to persevere when things get tough and not quit on things that matter most - Our callings. Those we love. Faith. Visions.
According to Dean Becker, president of Adaptiv Learning Systems,
(John 16:33)
Anyway , a few thoughts to becoming more be resilient.... (From someone who is very much on the journey with you)
1. Avoid Catastrophizing
"Catastrophizing is an irrational thought a lot of us have in believing that something is far worse than it actually is. (Psych Central) It's basically saying things like "I never get sales." "I am a complete and utter failure." "I stink."Non-resilient thinking decides that the future is bleak as well... It always will be. "Things will always go wrong for me." "I will always stink." "I will never make money." "I will never change."
Trust me, I once thought that I was just being honest and even humble by saying things like this! The key is to hear this and "just say no!"
Catastrophizing is not only untrue, it creates a toxin in our souls that may not come clear very easily.
2. Address Reality with a Positive Light.
Becoming resilient requires that we still live in reality. "Don't worry, be happy" makes for great songs, but becoming resilient doesn't mean we lose touch with the real world.Resilient people actually address stuff that's broken, not working and even detrimental. They just do it with a positive light towards addressing it - not ignoring it, blaming someone or getting depressed.
3. Explore a Bigger Picture
Whether it's business or whatever, it's possible to ask: "What can I learn?" or "How might knowing this help me in the future?"Austrian psychiatrist and Auschwitz survivor Victor Frankl shared that his journey to proactively seek out a purpose for his suffering and seeing himself one day teaching others helped him rise above the atrocities of his present circumstances.
4. Adjust What's Not Working
The most resilient people not only don't quit at things that matter most - they work to make them better. They see what's broken as a chance to invent something new, create a new market or make "lemonade out of lemons."And often , the most creative, compassionate and empathetic people experience the pain and setback - AND not only refused to quit. They became determined to help others in ways they wished they could have been helped.
OK, admittedly these are just a few short thoughts on a key topic. However, if you take just one of these to heart and it helps you persevere and become even a bit more resilient, persevering to write this post would have been worthwhile for me. : )
Is there one of these 4 that might better equip you to resist quitting and be more resilient today?
